The following is the actual, totally real, definitely not made-up conversation that I had this afternoon with my 10-month old daughter:
Me: It’s nap time.
Thea: But lookit, lookit what I can do!
Me: Yes, your Daddy and I are very happy for you, but it’s nap time.
Thea: I am aware, Mother, but in case you haven’t noticed, I CAN SIT UP NOW! LOOKIT!
Me: Yes, I can see on the monitor that you are sitting up, and congratulations on that grand achievement. It’s still nap time.
Thea: Napping is for babies who can’t sit up, Mother!
Me: Stop saying “mother” like that.
Thea: Like what?
Me: Like it should be followed by a word that rhymes with “ducker”.
Thea: **eye roll that she thinks I didn’t see, but I totally saw**
Me: Go to sleep.
Thea: But I’m not even tired, like, at ALL!
Me: You were tired 15 minutes ago when we were in the living room! You were doing that eye rub thing, and you yawned and pouted, and you even rested your head on my chest when I carried you upstairs.
Thea: Ya, but then you changed my diaper, and now I am ready to PAR-TAY!
Thea: Wooo! Wooooooooo!!!
Me: Stop rolling. Go to sleep.
Thea: But, Muuuuuuuuuuum! I don’t waaaannnnnaaaa!
Me: You’ve been up for 4 hours.
Thea: I pinky promise, if you bring me back downstairs now, I will be super happy for 30, or even 45 minutes!
Me: And then you’ll crash. Hard.
Thea: Pfft, why would you think that?
Me: Because that’s what happened two days ago – and any other time I have caved to your will and allowed you to skip a nap.
Thea: Well, I don’t remember that.
Me: That’s because you don’t have the capacity to recall long-term memories yet.
Me: So…nap time?
Thea: Ya…I guess…
Thea: MUM! MUM! LOOKIT! I CAN SIT UP NOW! I FORGOT TO SHOW YOU, SO I’M SHOWING YOU NOW, I CAN SIT UP NOW! LOOKIT!